


Every other Freckle

by 42potatoes



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:17:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/42potatoes/pseuds/42potatoes
Summary: Since the day he was born, one thing has been clear to Junkrat: people won't like you because of who you are and no one will ever owe you shit. This has been a consistent motif in his life, until Lucio comes along and challenges everything Jamison has ever believed about his self-worth.





	Every other Freckle

Things would have been so much different if Lucio had just chosen someone else to take him to his meeting. It was hard to think that such a little whim could change so much about how you’re feeling. In just a few seconds a day can go from beautiful to terrible. It makes me resent those few moments with every ounce of my being.

The quiet always makes me uneasy. Back in junkertown it was never quiet. Quiet meant trouble, quiet meant death was hiding somewhere, a big terrifying predator licking its chops for the next meal. I can’t stand it. It sounds threatening, makes my chest ache and my breath turn funny. I feel hunted. I hate that feeling. I’d never been in the ocean but i’m pretty sure this is what drowning feels like; frantic breathing and a panicked mind. I need something, a sound. I drum my fingers against the wood of my bed. Good, drums are good. It’s still too quiet though. 

I think too much when it’s quiet. It’s never helpful thinking like Luci insists. Nothing important ever seems to brew in my mind. I think better when things are loud. Big, booming sounds, shaking ground and adrenaline pulsing. That’s the only time my mind ever feels clear. That perfect line between madness and fear that makes all my problems feel small. 

I guess my problems are already pretty small anyhow. People here talk all the time about changing the world. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that. Roady says words are what change the world, and I’ve never been good with them. I don’t know whats wrong with me. Whenever someone is talking with me I either spout on for days about everything that doesn’t matter or i’m suddenly unable to talk. D.va says I swing wildly between a hyperactive monkey and a stump. She’s not wrong. I never seem to say or do the right thing. That’s why i’m alone here tonight anyhow. I’m pretty sure I embarrassed Lucio too much today. I didn’t mean too. I know I don’t fit in. I probably should have dressed up more for escorting Lucio to the recording studio. His managers looked at me like I was some gunk stuck to their shoe, especially when the paparazzi showed up. It was a bonafide mess. Lucio’s record company don’t approve of me, although I don’t blame them. I’m not exactly good for Lucio’s reputation. Luckily the guards were quick and the paparazzi didn’t see me around him. Lord knows what could have happened if someone snapped a pic of us walking to the studio. His manager basically lost it when they saw us. I know Lucio got chewed out by his manager. Lucio should have asked someone else to escort him. 

I was sent out early, no surprise there. I didn’t miss the frustrated look sent my way by Lucio. He seems to make that face a lot around me. I honestly don’t know why he sticks with me, I always cause a mess of some sort for him to clean up. He’s a million times out of my league. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dumps me soon, he keeps talking about his manager pestering him to cut it off. Not like I mind, it’s bound to happen. At least I get to be along for the ride. 

Dammit, it’s still too quiet. My tapping seems to have faded in with the background noise. I need to get up, do something. Maybe if I sit in the common room it won’t be so quiet. D.va and tracer are always up to something late at night, those two never seem to sleep, especially since tracer discovered racing games. I don’t think anyone’s been able to pull her away from the console when she’s playing, except Emily.

The hallway isn’t very quiet, at least not when I walk down it. My leg taps along, echoing through the cold metal halls. It’s comforting, it reminds me of the old buildings of scrap back at home, except here is much cleaner. I’m pretty sure you could get tetanus from every building in that city. At least like this nothing can sneak up on me. Metal is great for that, making noise. 

“Jaimie?” His voice is like the comforting creak of a ship’s hull. I decided that when we started dating; strong calming and smooth. It does still startle me though. I guess metal isn’t good for making noise when the person skating down it is more agile than a bird. “Why didn’t you come to bed?”

“Hey, Luci.” I feel my heart pick up, fluttering around in shame. I should probably take the chance to apologize, Lucio just stormed off to his room when he got back so I didn’t get the chance. Maybe he won’t be too angry if I apologize, even though apologies don’t really fix anything. “I don’t know…I’m sorry about earlier today-”

“Why?” Lucio looks at me oddly, like I just spat up a frog. The little crinkles between his eyebrows and on his nose would be cute is I didn’t know he was upset with me.

“Ya know, almost getting caught by the paparazzi, being weird in front a ya boss.” My fingers are itchy. Normally in situations like this, I can just blow something up and run off. Having to actually face stuff like this sucks ass. Lucio snickers out of nowhere. 

“Is that why you didn’t come to bed tonight? You know it’s not your fault right?” Lucio has that look on his face again. What was it called? Bewild? Beswald?…..Bewilderment! That was it, maybe. Bewilderment and amusement. It’s better than being mad or upset though. And cuter.

“I thought you were mad, you looked pissed as all hell when you got back. Mutterin’ to yourself and everything….” Lucio rolls his eyes and hooks an arm through mine, dragging me in the direction of his room.

“I was angry because they were acting like you were some stray piece of trash I decided to drag in. They even tried to lecture me, saying shit like you were going to bow up my reputation and all that.” Lucio huffs.

“Well, I mean they aren’t exactly wrong.” I lift a spare hand to twirl at the hairs at the base of my neck. It’s comforting and distracting from the heat crawling up my neck. It feels like something unbearably hot and heavy decided to plop down on my chest. 

“What do you mean?” Lucio looks concerned. Great. I can just feel him looking at me, all questions.

“You know, I’m not exactly a celebrity. I’m an ex-criminal. I never seem to say or do the right thing… I’m not exactly in your league…” I look at him. He just looks at me silently, face neutral. He wants me to talk more. “Wouldn’t that be a publicity nightmare like your manager is always worrying about?” Lucio’s face changes quickly, stopping dead in his tracks and tugging me around to face him. He looks angry. Great, I said something wrong. 

“You know I don’t care about that right? People will find out eventually, it’s not like I’m ashamed of you. The only reason I haven’t gone public is because you don’t want me to.” He looks at me for a moment like he’s expecting me to say something. After a moment he just decides to continue on. “Also on that note, what do you mean league?” He looked like he’s about to lecture someone. I can tell he’s barely holding himself back from giving me an earful. I know I need to talk this time or he’ll keep frowning at me like that. I hate when he frowns.

“Nothin…” I look anywhere except at him.

“Jaimie, I mean it.” He nudges me with his arm. He’s not gonna let this drop, is he?

“I mean… you’re more attractive,…and smarter, and a better person, and all that stuff..” I wish we could just brush past this topic. It seems to just make the weight in my chest heavier and make Lúcio more upset.

“And who told you that?” He crosses his arms, looking up at me. I can only shrug. 

“Jaimie..” Lucio urged. He’s always so determined to drag every thought and self doubt out of me just to squash it like a bug.

“I don’t know. No one really, it’s just kinda a fact.” I can only murmur. 

“That’s not true. I hope you know that.” Lucio sighes, dragging me into his room and pulling me down on the bed with him. I tug off my prothstetics in silence and lay back on the bed. I can feel him grab my hand as we both stare up at the ceiling. “You know I love you, right?” His words are quiet, but they seem to cut through the air. It makes something in my chest ache. Neither of us look at each other. I just grunt. He’s said stuff like this before, he does it all the time. I know we’re temporary, he has every reason in the world to not stay with me. I try my hardest not to make him stay with me, I’m enough of a burden as it is. Still, he clings to me. His words are like sugar. Sometimes it’s the best thing in the world to hear. Sometimes it hurts. Lucio is looking at me now, I can feel it.

He grabs my chin and turns my head, making me look at him. He looks… determined. “Because I do. I love you and your weird way of seeing the world. I want you and your messy hair and style; I want every other freckle, every smile and breath and kiss you give me.” He lifts our intertwined hands, somehow emphasizing his words with the action. “I need you to know that, like the sky is blue and that grass is green, I love you.” I can feel myself blushing like mad, even tearing up. It feels like whatever weight was in my chest just blasted off and for some reason my only response is tears. I have to put a hand over my face and look back up at the ceiling to get my bearings. I know if I keep looking at him I’ll start crying and talking and I won’t be able to shut up. I hate when Lúcio sees me cry, he tries too hard to comfort me. It makes me feel more like a burden. Lucio seems to take this as an invitation to drape himself over my chest, moving my hand away from my face and looking me in the eyes, frowning and waiting for a reply. I close my eyes. The weight is back.

“I know love.” I take a breathe. If I said I wasn’t embarrassed right now I would be lying. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten as many compliments in my life as I have gotten compliments from Lúcio. I swear every other night he confesses his love to me.

“And you love me too?” Lucio added, not breaking eye contact. 

“Yes, Yes I love you Luci,” I force myself to not look away. “I’m not good with words like you are, but I care about you, a lot, more than anything in the world. I don’t think I’ve loved anything more than I love you and I don’t think I ever will.” 

“Good, because something is really hurting me.” He says this like he’s satisfied with himself.

“What?” That’s an odd thing to add. I feel like our conversation just did a backflip. He points to his chest. No, his heart. 

“It hurts me, Jaimie. It hurts when you say you don’t love yourself like I love you. When you say you don’t belong with me.” I can only look away in shame, nodding. 

“I don’t know how to fix that love.” It’s the only thing I can say for myself. Lucio rests his head on my chest, weaving our fingers together. 

“That’s okay. I know this stuff takes a long time. We’ll fix it together.”


End file.
